So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
