Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
