i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
