The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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