You really coming over, don't trick.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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