i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Randomize
