I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
