Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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