margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
