I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
its liver damage thursday
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
