This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
