Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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