Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
