Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
