What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Randomize
