its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
