And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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