Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
