Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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