Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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