god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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