Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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