I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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