yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
