But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
