so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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