We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
