just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
