apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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