Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
