He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
