Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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