They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
