another moral hangover. fuck.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
