I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
