I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Randomize