Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Randomize
