mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I am available for nakedness
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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