She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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