even my farts smell like vagina
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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