it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
