I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
