if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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