My friends, they love my intelligence
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
