i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
