They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
