She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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