ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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