My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
