The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
