I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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