I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
