I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
