I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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