saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize