I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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