How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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