I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Randomize
