your thong is hanging out like whoa
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize