If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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