Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize
